I Won't Compete With You For His Attention


I know that you think he was all yours
But he is his, before he was anyone else’s
You can’t keep him to yourself
He deserves some time on his own

Maybe you need him so much
Or miss him too much
Or willing to prove that he is still cares about you
To be honest, I don’t really give a damn about the reason
Why you do what you did
But I just want you to know that
You should not make everything about you
And your broken heart

I thought that you understand what I’m saying
Because you were with him earlier
You know exactly how busy he was
And how much he needs time to sleep
To get rest, to recharge
But then, I don’t get it
You just called and give him a reason to worry about you
Again and again

I’m not jealous of your capability
For making him drive at 3 am just to comfort you
I’m not jealous of things you once had together
Neither your tradition nor your memories
I’m not jealous of texts he still sends you
Just to remind you to take your medicine

I won’t compete with you for his attention
Because without competing, I already won
Perhaps that’s the reason why I couldn’t hate you
Even though, I desperately wanted to
But I can’t

Indirectly you drag me into your drama
As an ex-drama queen, I laughed so hard
On what you did
Because it was out of my league
If you really had to get his attention
Do it better than just letting the nurses
Sticking up needles to your veins
Come up with an unpredictable story
Build a strong scenario
So people won't laugh at you
For making it too obvious that
You both aren't together anymore

You can beg for his love
And his attention
Any time you want
I’m not going to forbid him to care about you
I won’t get in your way
But one thing that you have to consider twice
Please, give him space for himself
He has other business too
Besides taking care of you

And don’t worry about me
You are not breaking my heart, little sist
You are breaking yours
Remember that
I’m not your enemy
I’m just the girl he chose


- n.

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