How am I doing lately? Not great. It's been only five days since the scandal out and I feel like a wreck. First and second day I feel so bad but I can't explain it well because I basically feel this for the very time, so strange. The third day, which is the confirmation day, was the WORST, cry a lot, sleepless night, wondering all time, denial, defending, doubting everything. I for the first time, actually like a public figure, an actor, a korean actor, which I never thought I do. Kim Seon Ho oppa. He was just arrived at his top stairs, he was forces to jump, way down, almost rock bottom. You have no idea, how shitty - yourself - at twenty five years old - feeling towards the news and the scandal.
As I'm writing this, I feel exhausted. I crave more good news, that he won't be banned in Korea, that he could get second chance at his career, that he will still continue his upcoming drama and his first movie ever. After a long long time, my heart actually finally breaks in pieces again, and the reason is someone that does not even know that I excited in this world. How...am...I...here?
Believe it or not, that's how I feel. I wanted to support him, but what can I do? Just staring at the news. Praying everything will be okay for him. I really wanted to see his acting skills in many dramas and movies and his voice at new singles and his cover photos of many magazines. He truly deserves the spotlights. Nobody knows his future career would look like, if Salt could save it, but I hope they do. I hope he come back even brighter and stronger and better than ever. In the meantime, I don't know how to calm this thoughts and heart, I keep using drama to distract myself. I'll be okay soon. He'll be okay soon. The situation will be okay soon. Gwenchana.
