Sorry
For making things complicated
I knew it felt like I don’t have a commitment
Because the last time we met
I swear that I won’t let you walk in to my future anymore
No more you, not your body, not your scent, not your shadow
Not even a glimpse
I admit that
That night
I was a little upset
The only thing I hope for
Was that night to end quickly
Because I don’t want to see your face ever again
One thing that you didn’t know is
That I whisper to my self
An uncertain promise
I don’t even know if that day will arrive
But I told my self that
If one day
I was ready for love
And someone found me, willing to accept me
Love me for who I truly am
Treat me nothing like you did
That will be the time when I forgive you
I forgive everything
Our mistakes, our misunderstandings, our unsolved fights
Everything that made us broken
I never thought that
That day will come this fast
I don’t know what happened
The only thing I know for sure is
I didn’t force anything
I let it flow just like the river
For the first time in my life
I trust God to make up my stories
Before I was aware
He suddenly came
In every unrealistic way you could ever imagine
He made me believe that
Love isn’t that scary
He made me believe that
There are other ways to fall in love
He made me believe that
I could trust him to catch me when I fall
And make sure that I won’t be the one who fall
He is the reason why I smile today
Every day since he came
I have no idea what I did to deserve him
But he is the best thing that has ever happened to me
And then I secretly forgive my self
I secretly forgive you too
I forgive the way we used to be
If you ask me
What you should do
The answer is nothing
Don’t do anything
I honestly don’t expect anything from you
You don’t have to act like everything is okay with you
When it’s not, you don’t have to act like you were okay
Just because I looked okay
I don’t want you to fool your self
And don’t try to fool me
Because I might be too busy to notice
I hope
From the bottom of my heart
I really hope
That soon, someday
You will forgive your self too
Stop the self-blaming for things that had already done
Forgive my self for stopped loving you
Forgive your self to let that happened
Forgive us
I hope
You will find peace after all
I hope
The war in your mind will come to an end
I hope
You will be a better version of your self
I hope
There will be someone to help you get through this
I do hope
That you will soon be genuinely happy
Just like me
Because we both have already forgotten of
How wonderful love truly is
How amazing life when we pay attention to it
How grateful we should be for God’s blessing
Once you do, you will be amaze of
How perfect his plans are
My heart is in peace
I hope yours too
Because we both deserve a fine closure
I let go the toxic that poisoned my soul
You should let go the thoughts that weakened your mind too
So this is
My last poem for you
Thank you very much
For being the subject of
My writings
Don’t wait for another tittle
Because it’s time for me to write for
Somebody else
- n.
