New Year Sucks

I know. It's new year. But you know what? Fuck it. 

I kinda lose feeling for new year and even worse I just realize that I hate January not sure since when. It's not that I hate the new beginning, well, I worship it. I live with it. Every single day. But new year...with all of the people are celebrating it, lighting up tons of fireworks, booking hotel rooms and decent restaurant with sky view is just...kinda overwhelming, you know. 

Not sure if I'm old fashioned or perhaps just not finding the right person to spend new year with. 

However, I'm sure about one thing tho...I stopped celebrating new year since long time and I'm not planning to celebrate it at least for the next five years. 

Still, I like the idea of starting over certain things in life. 

Like, changing night and day routine, take vitamines, try out some workout, set new goals or learn how control anger. I used to have a clear sight of things I want within a year. I wrote it, I remain myself everyday to work for it. But this year kinda different tho. 

Tbh, I feel like lost somewhere. 

Hiding. 

Off. 

Unmotivated.

Whatever you named it.

It's messing up my head and breaking up my heart. 

Fail to reach my goal was disappointing but not sure what the goal was unbelievably giving me bad impact. 

What's wrong with me anyway...

Ugh. Sucks. 

But I keep working on it to figure out whatever it is making me feel down. Guess I'm just trying to figure out my goddamn self. I think it's time. It's the perfect timing. I keep telling myself that I'll never knew what I'm gonna find or who I'm gonna see the next intersection, So keep going.