Blue, but black is fine too.

• Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

• If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

• Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?

• What was your favorite book as a child?

• Do you prefer baths or showers?

• If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?

• Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

• What is your favorite brand of clothing?

• Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

• Who is a mentor to you?

• Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?

• Are you a restless sleeper?

• Do you consider yourself a romantic?

• Which element best represents you?

• Where do you feel the safest?

• What can you hear now?

• How would you spend your ideal day?

• Describe yourself using one word

• What do you regret the most?

• Invent your own word, what does it mean?

everything now come to an end || a poem by Syereena

To be honest, I didn't plan to make a free audio of me reading my own poem and uploaded it to Youtube cause I'm not a Youtube-kinda girl. I guess I watched a lot, but to become part of those who put themself out there to be watched by millions of people...Uhmm...Not really, no. 

But late at night when I couldn't sleep, I record my voice, reading the last poem I made. Surprisingly, it turned out to be not so bad #LMAO, I forced my friends to listen to it and give me an honest opinion about it...and they all liked it! 

So I think...why not...?

I didn't seek for anything specific, I just wanna share it to the world and perhaps there are people who feel the same way as I do and who knows if I could make them to feel better...or worse LOL. 

My first Youtube video turn out to be something that make me realize that...I love writing things. Writing is my passion. Writing is the only thing that I do that didn't make me question myself. All this time, I only write for myself, not many of it finish and they just root in my folders. Guess, this Youtube thing could give me motivation to create more and more and more. 

I haven't decided if I want to take it for serious or not. But right now, I think I'm just gonna finish my previous projects, until then, we're gonna see where it leads me. 

Make sure you check this out before you go: everything now come to an end || a poem by Syereena

As I lay sleeping, I began to think about everything. Little details until the biggest one. I must say that I feel frustrated several times, whether it's day or night, but mostly when the dark wraps me up. I'm looking a friend. Someone who have no idea of who I am and never heard anything about me before. A stranger. 

The small circle I live in has driving me mad cause I'm tired of it already. I want more. I want something else. New things to discover, new feelings to figure out, new moments to look forward to. But somehow I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble and I can't get out. I'm choked, everyone could hear me but they let me run out of breath in purpose. 

So, I went to surf to find a stranger. Somehow I ended up helping depressed people getting through their day and I lost interest of how crazy I was. But then, he found me. The stranger I was looking for. He fits the criteria and in two hours, we became friends. Funny, how fast it is to get a friend when you know where you are gonna meet them. For my criteria, it's on the internet. 

We tell about each other story, goods and bads. We're weird in a weird way. Afterall, stranger doesn't feel like stranger anymore...until I lay back almost fall asleep, a little upset with him about something that shouldn't be a problem. And then it hits me hard, like a fucking hurricane. 

Why do I even bother? Why do I spend my time talking to stranger on the internet who gives me nothing but a headache. Friendship wasn't suppose to be hard, until it gets complicated by itself. I've spend 4 days in vain. As I began to feel more frustrated than before, I realize that I want stranger in the most strange place. I want everything became strange and I want me to be stranger for myself. 

I want to become a stranger. Stranger in my own world.

I proved myself that I'm strong enough to let go

I'm proud of what I did. It might be the best choice I made since a long time ago. 

I was isolated myself from the outside world, I was taught by my ego, I made my own definition of love and sacrifice, without me knowing, I turned into someone else. 

I walked differently, because my shoulder were too heavy.

I saw things differently, because my tears were blocking the view.

I spoke differently, because my throat were suffocated. 

Now I changed. I'm trying my best to improve myself. 

From now on, only the good vibe went through. I want to get fit, I want to watch movies whenever I feel like it, I want to spend my Saturday night with book, I want to listen to sad songs but dance to it just because I feel like laughing my old-dumb-self for crying over it. I want to feel like myself, I want to get comfortable in my own skin, I want to be genuinely happy. 

I've proved myself that I could let go the toxic people in my life. Now I want to prove myself that I could be better without them. 

Wish me luck. And good luck for you too. 

today is the day. the day I finally decided to let go. the day I throw away all of your memories, from the biggest til the very least. the decision is made last night, the night when I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried. so, I spent those time to think, to arrange my messy feelings. I whisper to my own skin that this war needs to end. I can't continue fighting, and now I'm too tired to even hold on. 

everything now come to an end. you and me. we. now walk in a opposite direction. there's no room for you in my heart cause you already broke one and have no intention to fix it. but here I am not to mention those responsibility that you bear. I let you go without paying back the price you caused me. 

tonight I will tell you everything you need to hear. I will answer every single question. I will explain all your confusion. I will tell you that I no longer angry nor sad with everything that happened cause it is okay now. I gave up on you. because after this, you will no longer hear anything from me. 

I, the girl who always adore you, finally closing her book. you are the most part of my story. the brightest main character and the one who made my story happiest. but some other time, you also the one who made the story so miserable. after those chapter we have been through, all those ups and downs, I realize a lesson that no one can make me understand that we can't force someone we love to love us back, love grows without any attempt when it has to grow. so, even though, you are the one that I think the one, I refuse to know you more. you can live your life any way you want, and I assure you that I won't be there to stop you. 

I blame nothing. not you, not the fate, not even the choice I have chosen, cause you taught me so much and made me strong enough to finally let go of things that no longer healthy for me. only I wish, I didn't waste the love that I deserve, just to own yours, but it's another story. 

so, good bye, my one and only. now you are officially my 'were', the past I want to bury.