Archive for August 2017

Banyak yang datang
Beberapa diantaranya sempat menetap
Sebelum kemudian pergi
Dengan paksaan, maupun dengan kemauan sendiri

Di antara mereka
Ada yang kisahnya belum tuntas namun sudah terlanjur diakhiri
Ada yang berakhir, namun kemudian diberi kesempatan untuk mengulang kembali
Mereka adalah orang-orang yang jalan hidupnya pernah bertabrakan dengan milikku
Beberapa diantaranya mengajarkan
Sisanya kadang menyakitkan
Beberapa diantaranya meluluhkan
Sisanya melumpuhkan
Beberapa diantaranya mengukir senyuman
Sisanya menghasilkan luka sayatan
Beberapa diantaranya menyakinkan
Sisanya meragukan
Sampai akhirnya yang datang itu berhenti
Yang menetap pun akhirnya pergi

Kadang hari terasa sepi
Dan hati berani untuk meminta hati lain untuk dikasihi
Namun aku menolak untuk mencari
Kubiarkan saja yang direncanakan untukku terjadi
Tanpa intervensi

Disinilah bagian ceritamu dimulai
Seseorang yang tidak bisa kuprediksi
Muncul begitu saja tanpa permisi
Kamu tidak terasa seperti beberapa
Bahkan semua di antara mereka
Tidak terasa seperti janji
Juga tidak mencintai sendiri-sendiri

My nights aren't cold anymore

Ever since you came into my life

Nights are short whenever I'm with you

Because you told me stories you wouldn't tell anyone else

And you listened to all my mumbles

No matter how irrelevant it was

Nights are short whenever I'm with you

Because you showered me with kisses

And you never let me slipped out of your arms

Until I feel safe

Even I forget that nightmares are exist

Nights are short whenever I'm with you

Because I love it how you make your presence worth

Every single second I have

And you make me realize that

Time are so precious we shouldn't wasted it

Turn every chances of being together

Into the sweetest memories

One short night

You looked right into my eyes

Comb my hair with your hands

Slowly took my breath away

You said

"As long as I still got time, I'd spend it with you

There are a bunch of choices on how I spend my spare time

I make sure that I will choose you a million times

And a million more

So, please don't resist me"

I cried my heart out

Nobody has ever told me anything

As sincere as you did

I nodded, I promised to myself that

From now on, I won't resist you

Not in a million times

Let's live the nights

A million more

We were never a coincidence

The universe sets us up

And it look so obvious

We were crossing each other's path

Way too often to be called coincidence

But we were never pay attention to it

At the time when we stopped in the same intersection

We both didn't force anything
Just let everything flow

So slow

What we didn't know is that

Universe and love are partner in crime

The universe does the job on the field

The love takes care of the rest

Now we met by their arrangement

No coincidence

I never believe in that anyway

And until the next intersection

I hope they are still setting us up

I'm not ready for you. That's the whole truth.

I missed you but I'm not ready to jump in into you. I've got too much things unfinished and so many uncrossed list. Plans I made last year still not fulfilled, now I have to make new ones.

I feel frustrated. See, I have this burden in my mind, not in my shoulder, because I got to mold myself into the girl I want me to be, and she isn't fully here yet, she's still far from the way I imagine.

August, I don't think that this year I'll bring success for our duties. I might fail almost half of them. It makes me wonder if I deserve to make the new list for my own.

I've been lounge. I didn't appreciate time. Even waste it.

I want to get back on track, but seems like the road is foggy. I'm glad but I don't see things clearly. Is it because happiness are blocking my view or is it just me?

I want to be me again. I do. Guess, I need to change things around here again. Weed out the obstacles. Embrace the goodness.

August, I missed you so much. But I haven't been fully myself. I don't wanna see you in this shape. You deserve a whole out of me. You deserve my best. I want to get lost in you. I want a break from the world and be with you. I've had enough of people's bullshits. I want clearence. I want a new start with a different result.

Even though, I'm not ready. But you are here anyway and nobody can stop you from arriving.

I only wish that you won't be too disappointed in me too much.

Sorry.

I try again, this year.

Your company,

- n.

"Dalam bahasa yang juga kau mengerti
Aku akan belajar cara untuk menyampaikan cinta
Tanpa terdengar seperti sekedar buaian gombal
Supaya inginku tersampaikan
Supaya terbaca olehmu apa yang kurasakan
Dalam bahasa yang kita berdua sama-sama pahami
Pelan-pelan aku adaptasikan."

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