A Little Confession

I have been avoiding my own thoughts about God
It's been too long and I'm not going anywhere
There is this feeling when I feel like I just don't want to think about it
I know it's fucked up and I should get back on the track
But here I am writing about this situation
Which pretty much I cannot share with anyone

God, I have been really far from you
I miss you
Is my pride or just evil that holding me back?
The holly month is coming real soon
I need to be sober as worshiper
I need to make myself better this way
I am trying
Help me through it all over again
Please, don't give up on me yet