Silver Lining

ranger riding through an open space

Home Archive for February 2020
I have been selfish
Selfish is like my nature, running in my blood
But at least I am aware of that
I am trying to overcome it so it won’t eat alive

This is about me
This test, I have to passed
For me to gain control
For me to see clearly

I learned that I can’t push people
To be something they don’t want to be
I can’t save people who don’t want to be saved
I can’t help people who hated me 
Because all they can see was me trying to push them off the cliff
I learned that I can’t be friends with everyone
And that’s okay

It is okay to lose someone as long as you don’t lose yourself
Cause you are all you have 
And everything that you can count on
So I learned to cherish myself
Trying not to think about it too much
It’s not like I need them anyway

This is a way to learn more about myself
Thanks to my environment proving that I can get thru
I am getting stronger
I am winning on myself

More and more each day

xx, Nad
weheartit.com/@beer_real
Every time we get in fight, if it could consider to be a fight when mainly it's just me talking
You used to call me back or text me five miles long, but you didn't do it quite some time, I'm not sure why, is it because I'm no longer worth the effort? or maybe you just take it for granted 'cause you knew I'll come around anyway

Why are you always avoid fighting when sometimes that is all I need?
Why are you not willing to fight and just say what you mean and not trying to be right every fucking time?
Why are you giving me 'the silent treatment' and just exhales hard and ended up the call?
Why are you keep resisting everything I said in your mind?
Why are we keep doing this?

That's the real thing between us
But it doesn't seem to bother you 
Because you didn't see it as a big deal
I don't understand why didn't you try to understand me anymore

I know that I am the damage
I know that I am the unfinished 
I know that I am the imperfect 
But at least I am aware of it
And I am trying to change for the better
I am trying to be the best version of myself
While you keep shoving all the shit in to me
Like you never made one single mistake 
Like all you do is right and innocence
Like you had everything figured out
But you don't 

You just couldn't see that you sometimes in a wrong way
And act like I am the one who couldn't read the map

How are we going to unite when we can't see and accept who we really are?
How are we going to step in to the next phase?
How are we going to cruise together?

I don't have a good example, everyone knows that
So I am not sure how to handle shit like this when the time comes
Or am I going to be ready for it?
I have the missing piece here and there
I was hoping you could filled me up and make me complete
But I kinda finding them along the way
Maybe I don't need anyone from the first place
Or maybe I am just terrified to begin because I might ruin everything 
And you are already there to throw down the rocks on me

Nad
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