I'm walking in a garden, full of white roses and the red ones

As I see you stumbling in the crowd

You were screaming at people 

But nobody listens

That moment I almost cried

For seeing you alone struggling with the world 

And I'm not there to protect you

As minutes and hours goes by

I find myself completely numb

Maybe I couldn't feel anything anymore 

Because I keep thinking, 

"What happen if I never walked away from you?"

"What happen if you never pushed me away?"

"What happen if we were there, together?"

In fact, I walked away from you because you pushed me away

And now we aren't together, we are walking in a separate way

I am numb, because nothing is going to change

My tears come rolling down my face

As you settle down helplessly

That moment you figured out that

Nobody is going to save you

My heart is broken but it didn't hurt

Maybe because I know that I deserve to also be save

And not just busy saving a guy that I once loved very much

But he didn't care at all

So I get up and continue my walk

I'm realising that this garden I'm walking is heaven

As I wave goodbye to the crowd

I know I'm breaking my own rule for not writing in this blog at least once a month. But that's because I was so busy with my virtual life. Well, I know what people say that we never too busy it's just a matter of priority. Sorry, not sorry >.<

"LIFE, what situation am I currently in?"

I'm in the stage where I'm about to jump in into the next adventure and do bigger things and make more memories. 

I just finish my thesis, and today is officially my last day of being lazy and crawl in bed all morning, because tomorrow I start my first day of internship at Bank Indonesia, and I am shooooo excited! WHooo! I know it probably won't be as pretty as I imagine because it will suck up all my energy like every single day till I have none, but look at a big picture...I got to know more people, new people, smart people, I got to work on a new field, new experiences, new chair, new desk, new basically everything. So, my life right now is way too good. Everything with love just got better, everything with family stay constant, everything with friendship? well, I got to eliminate some of them that doesn't deserve being called friend, it means, good too. 

I am grateful for who I am today, and the situation I'm currently in. I can't wait for the next adventure, can't wait for more stories to tell! 

Also, I'm trying to not breaking the rule one more time, so please don't forget me, fella.