Hi August

I'm not ready for you. That's the whole truth. 

I missed you but I'm not ready to jump in into you. I've got too much things unfinished and so many uncrossed list. Plans I made last year still not fulfilled, now I have to make new ones.

I feel frustrated. See, I have this burden in my mind, not in my shoulder, because I got to mold myself into the girl I want me to be, and she isn't fully here yet, she's still far from the way I imagine. 

August, I don't think that this year I'll bring success for our duties. I might fail almost half of them. It makes me wonder if I deserve to make the new list for my own. 

I've been lounge. I didn't appreciate time. Even waste it. 

I want to get back on track, but seems like the road is foggy. I'm glad but I don't see things clearly. Is it because happiness are blocking my view or is it just me?

I want to be me again. I do. Guess, I need to change things around here again. Weed out the obstacles. Embrace the goodness. 

August, I missed you so much. But I haven't been fully myself. I don't wanna see you in this shape. You deserve a whole out of me. You deserve my best. I want to get lost in you. I want a break from the world and be with you. I've had enough of people's bullshits. I want clearence. I want a new start with a different result. 

Even though, I'm not ready. But you are here anyway and nobody can stop you from arriving. 

I only wish that you won't be too disappointed in me too much. 

Sorry. 

I try again, this year. 

Your company, 

- n.