Entering 20

What hits you when you almost enter your 20s is hideous.

I feel like now time flew too fast that no one could stop it for me, for president for that matter.

Twenty years, almost. I’m counting down the time.

Is it me or everyone else felt the same way? It terrifies me.

Before, I’ve tried to make things right by forgiving myself so my burden won’t be too heavy to go far. But then, another things got along the way… who am I? What am I going to be in this 20s life? How to be happy instead of grumpy? Also, should I be focusing about my life, family and college instead of lover? Because I can’t help to think that he may not be the one for me and I may just wasting too much my time now and then.

Guess, I just want changes in life, as I become someone who ages enough to making decision for my own. I desire to become someone different – a brand new me – or if it too much to ask, maybe just a couple things that went wrong go back to the way it should be.

The problem is I aware of those wrong things but sometimes I was too afraid to admit it, even for myself. Am I committed crime? Perhaps. A crime to my soul.

As the day turned, I haven’t decided anything yet. Anything particularly big enough to make a change.

Probably that’s why I run away from home right now. Probably the reason is to find myself hiding somewhere between the old shelf and salt water.